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Author Topic: Should I Buy the Bolt?  (Read 845 times)

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Offline riedlj

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Should I Buy the Bolt?
« on: February 11, 2021, 01:49:20 pm »
Hi all,

Before I get started I'd like to explain that I am already sold on the Bolt.  It think it's a great bike and there's one nearby for sale I'm going to look at on Saturday.  What I'd like to get some feedback on is my personal situation with my wife of 12 years and whether her almost certain displeasure at the purchase is justified:

When we met 12 years ago I had a new sport bike which I had bought with my hard earned money.  We married and had our first daughter.  We sent her to a private school for Pre-K and Kindergarten.  I sold my motorcycle to help pay her school tuition.  I was disappointed, but knew i would buy another one.  Now I have two kids which are the center of my existence.  They get everything they need and lots more.  So I sold a bunch of my old rock climbing gear and some other electronics I had in order to buy an inexpensive used motorcycle.  Fast forward two years.  We are in the process of buying a house, so I sell my motorcycle to help subsidize the down payment.  Again, I was disappointed, but knew that a house was a much better investment.

Since we bought the house I have put all my money and energy into additions and rehab for the home.  I built a new room in the basement, put new floors in the house, and last year built a new porch, which she wasn't sold on until it was built.  The only time I asked her to chip in money was for the porch, and I still paid for 70% of it and did all the work.  I am still planning on adding a new bedroom for my oldest daughter this summer.

At this point my wife thinks I should spend my bike money on something for the family.  I'm not sure I agree.  She wants a Disney vacation which will cost more than a used Bolt and I'm willing to help pay for that too.  I think she's mostly upset because she went on lots of vacations when she was a kid and we cant really afford to do that.  I also asked her to help with the porch expenses when she wanted to save it for a Disney vacation.  Every time a financial sacrifice had to be made for the family I made it. 

Should I buy the Bolt or just forget about it?






Offline joko

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #1 on: February 11, 2021, 03:02:55 pm »
IMHO, get the bolt now, save your money and go on vaca when it's safer.

Online dogbrained

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2021, 03:15:04 pm »
"Every time a financial sacrifice had to be made for the family I made it."

Contrary to what women would have us believe itís the man's job to carry the heaviest load.
It doesnít matter what your wife carries because in the end you carry her and make it possible for her to do what she needs to do. Youíre a man and your responsibility is to your family. You donít have to like it (and you donít have to do it) but as a man you should.
Caveat: What you do will most times not be noticed or appreciated and this is nothing more than my opinion.
Also I'd buy the bike but you should know I'm divorced.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2021, 03:18:59 pm by dogbrained »
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Offline AlphaFury

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #3 on: February 11, 2021, 03:22:04 pm »
Dude...that's alot to unpack there. I'd say a marriage counselor might be in order first off.  :D

That being said, as a father of 2 sons and 2 step-daughters that we've raised to adulthood, there is a time and a place for family/children sacrifice, but not at the cost if you lose your own personal indentity. I put my family first for 20+ years and don't regret that at all. But you can't just be husband/father only and not have your own personal outlet for fun for yourself. It sounds like you more than earned the right to have something for yourself.

If your wife wanted something for herself that she expressed was very important to her how would you react? Right, I thought so.

PS: A $4000 - $5000 trip to Disney is a mad waste of money. It will never live up to the hype.

 

Offline DelawarePete

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #4 on: February 11, 2021, 04:14:37 pm »
I run into this frequently in the dealership.  Partnered people usually have a snag in the purchase because of their significant other.  After 10,000 + bikes in the last 10 years, only 1 purchase caused an problem, but there were issues BEFORE he bought the bike.  So look, your discussion should be with her and only with her.  If you have good credit, just finance the Bolt, and put the money you saved into the house/family/counseling.  And if you do get the bike, DON'T put her name on the title or registration AT ALL. 
Grow a beard

Offline VIKEN

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2021, 06:35:27 pm »
Dude...that's alot to unpack there. I'd say a marriage counselor might be in order first off.  :D

That being said, as a father of 2 sons and 2 step-daughters that we've raised to adulthood, there is a time and a place for family/children sacrifice, but not at the cost if you lose your own personal indentity. I put my family first for 20+ years and don't regret that at all. But you can't just be husband/father only and not have your own personal outlet for fun for yourself. It sounds like you more than earned the right to have something for yourself.

If your wife wanted something for herself that she expressed was very important to her how would you react? Right, I thought so.

PS: A $4000 - $5000 trip to Disney is a mad waste of money. It will never live up to the hype.

^^^ THIS.

I personally dont have my own fam but know of a few in the same situation. You the man and you're doing great at it, so why not reward yourself once in a while. Also, that counselling, maybe it's unnecessary but the way you described the situation is your wife only likes to take take take, so there's that.

But what do i know? I'm just a bolthead :P

Offline DrM

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2021, 07:00:02 pm »
What a predicament!  Well, this forum ain't "Dear Abbey," and I also have been divorced twice, so don't look for what to do from here.  But this is what I present to my significant others:
~ ~ ~
Each of us as parents with children devote a large part of our efforts to maintenance of the family -- but not everything.  We, as adults also have our own ambitions and interests that require maintenance and attention.  Some of these we may share together, such as travel and vacations.  Other interests we may may do separately and apart, such as business travel, jobs, and such.  One of the things I need is solo time on a motorcycle.  I would like to invite you to ride with me, but with or without you I need the freedom to ride occasionally or often -- it renews me.

Now we can fund all our interests, both common to us both, and those we hold separately -- but not necessarily all at the same time. Sometimes I have to defer to you, and sometimes you will have to defer to me.
~ ~ ~

So, some of my significant others have ridden with me and some have flown with me (I'm also a pilot and flight instructor), but others have flat out refused to ride  or fly with me - which is their right, and I need to respect that!

The question before you, and you have laid out your case very well, is she willingly to compromise with you?  You and her need to have one of those deep conversations about your individual hopes and dreams, then give her plenty of time (all it takes) to evaluate this and your relation.  It may wind up good, and it may not.
« Last Edit: February 11, 2021, 07:04:04 pm by DrM »

Offline DelawarePete

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2021, 12:45:57 pm »
Well said DrM - Is that short for Doctor Marriage Oracle?
Grow a beard

Offline SgtMojo

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2021, 01:06:48 am »
Buy the Bolt...you deserve something for you.

Offline AlanSmith7

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2021, 02:48:24 pm »
You have to convince her to cancel the Disney vacation and Buy Bolt for you.
I know it is hard to convince her because she had some desires but you should not compromise everytime for your family.

Offline legion95928

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #10 on: February 28, 2021, 04:04:52 pm »
You let things go too long to make this issue the "Hill you are gonna die on."  I would forget the Bolt and and tell her the Disney Cruise ain't gonna happen on your dime. Put your foot down on that alone-- then AFTER you two come to some understanding about her acceptance that you are not just a walking ATM... Then get the Bolt and ride it home without telling her anything in advance. Either you can be miserable-- or she can ACCOMMODATE-- your choice... AND-- you are gonna look BAD ASS riding the Bolt to McDonalds one Sunday a month for your scheduled monitored child visits.
« Last Edit: February 28, 2021, 04:08:46 pm by legion95928 »
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Online dogbrained

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Re: Should I Buy the Bolt?
« Reply #11 on: March 01, 2021, 12:23:05 pm »

You let things go too long to make this issue the "Hill you are gonna die on."  I would forget the Bolt and and tell her the Disney Cruise ain't gonna happen on your dime. Put your foot down on that alone-- then AFTER you two come to some understanding about her acceptance that you are not just a walking ATM... Then get the Bolt and ride it home without telling her anything in advance. Either you can be miserable-- or she can ACCOMMODATE-- your choice... AND-- you are gonna look BAD ASS riding the Bolt to McDonalds one Sunday a month for your scheduled monitored child visits.

Once again I find myself wishing this site had a "Like" option!
« Last Edit: March 01, 2021, 12:30:23 pm by dogbrained »
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